Answer Key to “Tom Swiftlys, Part Deux”

Here, oh ye slothful and sluggish ones, is the answer key to my second posting re the “Tom Swifltlys”–-RJR


Here again, to commence, are five “punny” warm-up problems.  Your mission, should you be able to accept it, is to fill in the blank with an appropriate pun-word.

(1) A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says, “A beer, please, and one for the _ROAD___________.”
(2) Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar.  One says, “I’ve lost my electron.”  The other says, “Are you sure?”  The first replies, “Yes, I’m _POSITIVE_____________.”
(3) A man went to a store the other day to buy some camouflage trousers, but he couldn’t __FIND ANY__________________.
(4) A three-legged dog came into a bar and started biting and clawing and barking up a storm at the patrons.  Finally they sent for the sheriff, who managed to corner and calm the dog.  Then he asked, “What is the matter with you, anyway?”  The dog answers, “I’m looking for the guy that _SHOT MY PAW_______________.”
(5) Medical doctors at a research hospital were assigned the task of finding a new treatment for constipation.  One learned from a friend about a witch doctor in the South American jungle who used some remedy that was apparently highly successful.  He returned triumphantly with a bundle of ferns. Skeptically, his fellow researchers said, “How can you be sure that this will work?”  Replied the researcher, “With _FRONDS_________ like these, who needs _ENEMAS_______________?”

And now, ten more “Tom Swiftly” challenges: Try first to supply an adverb that fits the situation set up in Tom’s sentence.  Your choice may be as good or better than mine.  To completely satisfy your curiosity, choose for any incomplete problems an adverb from the list following the sentences.
(6)   “Nurse, if you look real hard on that table, you just might find me the right scalpel,” said Dr. Tom _CUTTINGLY ___________________.
(7) “Sally, if I told you you had a great body, would you hold it against me?”  asked Tom _LUSTILY______________.”
(8) “Just look at how the steeple on that Congregational Church reaches toward Heaven,” observed Tom _INSPIRINGLY_____________.
(9) “Wow!  Is my bladder full!  Where’s the Men’s Room?”  queried Tom _YEARNINGLY_____________.
(10) “I sure could use another nip of that orange Gatorade,” hinted Tom __INSIPIDLY______________.
(11) “When I grow up, I’m going to have the biggest, best car in Springfield,” said Tom _WANTONLY________________.
(12) “I just can’t figure out how they got that little Jessica McClure out of that old well in Midland,” pondered Tom _DEEPLY_______________.
(13) “Bozo’s dug a hole under that fence, and I can’t find him!” whined Tom _PETULANTLY_____________.
(14) “Look out!  That grizzly’s getting our groceries out of the Suburban, warned Tom _INTENTLY_____________.
(15) “Gee, I hope Mom put my in-line skates in this beautiful little box,” said Tom __RAPTLY______________.


One Response to “Answer Key to “Tom Swiftlys, Part Deux””

  1. Eric Tetrault Says:

    Thank you for this. I have been studding this and I could not comprehend many things until I got that video professor CD ( link: ) With a combination of sites like this and the video tutorials form the bald guy (lol) I was up and running in no time.

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