Tom Swiftlys Redux # 1

As promised in my earlier blog today,  I have decided that readers of–and contributors to–this blog site need some light entertainment,  of a “punny” kind, on occasion.  So here’s a start with some sentences that have amusing answers (source undetermined for the nonce).  So, see if you can answer any or all of these questions, or fill in the blank as needed:                                                                                        (1)  What do you call a “fish” with no eyes?  _________       (2)   Two peanuts walk into a rough biker bar.  One was__________.                                                                         (3)  A jumper cable walks into a bar.  The bartender says,  “OK, I’ll serve you,  but just don’t ________________. ”   (4)  A sandwich walks into a bar.  The bartender says,  “Sorry, we don’t serve ________  in here.”                             (5)  A dyslexic man walks into a ___________.

Now on to the first set (of four sets of ten) sentences requiring clever or punning use of an adverb.  Find the best answer for each missing adverb in the list provided.                (6)  “My Buick sedan ought to be just right to transport the    Homecoming Queen in the parade,”  bragged Tom ___________.                                                                              (7)  “What did you get on Old Lady Grisham’s spelling test?” asked Tom __________________.                                        (8)   “That cussed wind just knocked my Titleist clean over the green,”  said Tom __________________.                      (9)   “Put me down for 100 margins on heating oil,” requested Tom   _______________.                                      (10)  “Dammit,  who locked that screen door again?”  whined Tom _____________________.                              (11)  “Lemme have that last slice of American cheese, or I’ll tell Mom it was you that broke her vase,”  said Tom ________________.                                                                 (12)  “I bet I’m going to fail that math exam,  whined Tom __________________.                                                            (13)  “Buy some more IBM stock if it falls another half-point,”  demanded Tom _________________.            (14)  “Those railroad tracks could sure use some maintenance, ” observed Tom ___________________.    (15)  “I just don’t feel right about scientists going all around trying to clone everything,”  said Tom _____________.       Here is the list of adverbs to choose from and put in the blanks:  A.   unbearably    B.  craftily     C.  regally   D. testily  E. shakily     F. restrainedly    G. sheepishly   H.  quizzically    I. bullishly   J.  disgustedly

Good luck and have fun!

RJR

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4 Responses to “Tom Swiftlys Redux # 1”

  1. Tammy Stephens Says:

    Poor Tom, lol. I’ll work on these later tonight.

  2. Tammy Stephens Says:

    6 C
    7 D
    8 B
    9 A
    10 F
    11 I
    12 H
    13 J
    14 E
    15 G
    Only knew two 😦

  3. D. Says:

    How fun! Hope I got some of them right. 🙂

    1. fsh
    2. creamed (?)
    3. jump start
    4. food
    5. bra
    6. C
    7. H
    8. J
    9. I
    10. F
    11. B
    12. D
    13. A
    14. E
    15. G

  4. Raymond Rundus Says:

    Sunday evening:

    Only two entries so far. Thanks, Tammy, and D. It appears as if some of the regular “blogger buddies” are in a postNewYear’sfunk of some kind.

    I will wait until Wednesday to see who else wants to play a little game. . . . I hope the later entrants will use self-discipline and do the “no fair peeky” thing.

    RJR

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