How Many Vote for “Euro-English”?

My friend and former student at Pembroke State in the 1970s, Jemi VanZandt (this the name he adopted a year and more ago from his original name) sent me the following proposal, one that we would be much more interested in, no doubt, if we lived in one of the countries which are part of the “European Union.”

Keeping in mind that, although George Bernard Shaw said that the United States and Great Britain were “two countries separated by the same language,”  we might well find some appeal,  certainly to those of us who are indifferent spellers and who struggle with the written tongue, in having this proposal adopted.  (A disclaimer:  I have discovered in earlier e-mails similar, if not nearly identical proposals.  But only Jemi’s was prefaced by a greeting and a message in contemporary German.  Until now, I did not know that Jemi had mastered that language.)  Enjoy, and vote!

RJR

European English:

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as ‘Euro-English’.

In the first year, ‘s’ will replace the soft ‘c’. Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard ‘c’ will be dropped in favour of ‘k’. This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome ‘ph’ will be replaced with ‘f’. This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

lifelines60: In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where! more komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent ‘e’ in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

lifelines60: By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing ‘th’ with ‘z’ and ‘w’ with ‘v’.

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary ‘o’ kan be dropd from vords kontaining ‘ou’ and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensi bl riten styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.

from Jemi

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2 Responses to “How Many Vote for “Euro-English”?”

  1. Tammy Stephens Says:

    Es wäre sehr schwierig, zu lesen.

  2. How to Get Six Pack Fast Says:

    The topic is quite trendy in the net right now. What do you pay attention to when choosing what to write about?

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